Posted by: Fester

Not many of us come up with a long-term plan (a serious one), and only a few of us come up with 1, 2, 5, 10, or 25 year plans… but even fewer of us - actually NONE of us - comes up with a 300 YEAR PLAN (unless you’re planning to take over the world), until now (probably because they’re planning to take over the world).

This is what we have to look forward to - thanks to Godgle: The Google home page of the future. (I didn’t do it - there’s other people out there who are thinking what I’m thinking you know…)

By RANDY SIEGEL
Randy Siegel is the president and publisher of Parade Publications. See the original HERE.

Seems Godgle has decided that THEY are the ones who will index THE ENTIRE CONTENTS OF ALL THE WORLD’S INFORMATION. That’s about 5 million terabytes, but “only about 170 terabytes have been indexed” says Eric Schmidt - head puppet at Google.

Well then, get to work, Eric!!!!!

I just have one question: “Will I have to wait in line before you suck all the contents of my brain out of my head, or can I make an appointment to get it over with now?”

Do you suppose that they’ll soon be introducing a new monitor that actually HAS A CAMERA BUILT INTO THE SCREEN, so that Google can actually see us while we work, play, eat, fornicate, etc.. ONLY for the purpose of being able to better provide us with any information we may need INSTANTLY as we need it (you believe that, right?). Basically, with this new system, our minds will always be ‘indexed’, and what we ask for will be delivered - on thought. SWEET!

I think?

See you inside the collective! (Do you think there’ll be any hot chicks in there?? - Like Seven of Nine?)

(I’d love to Google HER!)

In closing: This, the funniest, most serious post ever is still my favorite.

Love Forever,

Fester

Posted by: Fester

Read this word - then, this word.

Is this really happening????

Is God… I mean Godgle REALLY going to let this happen to us??

Even the people smarter than me are saying this is a good thing. Some others can’t even believe it (Wadda ya think now, Om?). This can’t be real. Please God (I mean the real God) - don’t let it be real.

I think I crapped myself. I’ll have to buy new underwear now.

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Posted by: Fester

OK, so as a joke, I went to the new Godgle Blog Search in Beta, and typed in my favorite keyword phrase: ‘Is Google Evil’ and came up with some mighty interestin’ stuff!

Here’s a scample:

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Posted by: Fester

Well, it appears ‘ol Fester aint the only one with a penchant for poking fun at Godgle. Seems The Onion has posted an amusing little segment on one of Google’s upcoming .labs. projects in their systematic attempt to brainwash and control us all: “Google To Destroy All Non-Indexable Copyrighted Materials”.

May Larry and Sergey use my facial epedermis for the soles of their shoes if this doesn’t happen (in one form or another).

I’m getting more and more entrenched in the thought that Godgle really is Big-Brother. I mean, they even won the most recent ‘Big-Brother Award“!!!!

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Posted by: Fester

Well, my friends and enemies…

I know what we do here is all in fun, but some of the satire is also meant to make you THINK about the darker possibilities…

This is about the upcoming ‘Partner Forum’ that Google will be holding soon - where they’ve asked 400 press and blog people to come and discuss things, but not to press and blog about it afterward. Now that we all know this is happening, is it possible that this will be possible???? Huh?

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Posted by: Fester

Recently, the Japanese offices of Yahoo! were invaded by a television character named “Hard Gay”.

Is he a Google spy? Watch the video and decide for yourself….

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Posted by: Fester

I guess the first step is - admitting it, so… yes, friends and enemies, it is again TRUE. In addition to my long list of unattractive vices, I must include ‘CrackSense’ or GASS as it is commonly known to the Google Gods.

Seems that I have this overwhelming addiction to checking out how much money I’m not making through my AdSense account AT LEAST every 15 minutes. (Sometimes less.) What’s wierd is - it’s like my bio-rythm is directly linked to my AdSense stats… “good day - bad day” sort of stuff. I wake up and go to bed on this stuff…

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Posted by: Fester

Following up on yesterday’s post about being banned by Google, it seems that we were NOT banned, but I was merely the victim of my own impatience, alarmism and need to be right.

See, Google does this update/dance thingy every once-in-a-while, (read extensively about the latest update here) and it seems that just by chance that when I checked yesterday - things were amiss at Godgle, and results let me to believe that Sergey and Larry don’t like what I’m saying.

[ UPDATE 09/09/05: Seraphim Matt Cutts of Godgle says it was NOT an update - read more. ]

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Posted by: Fester

I dunno what the ‘official’ test is that determines if a site has been banned by Google - but if you check our PR out here - you’ll see we now have a dreaded GREY BAR.

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Well my friends and enemies…

The time is here.

The ‘invasion’ has begun.

With all their helpful little tools and web based gadgetry: “Google is unofficially taking over the world.” And, “Google IS ‘BIG-BROTHER’, incarnate.”

Harsh - I know… but THERE, I said it. And, YES, I think it’s true.

If it is not evident to you after reading the posts below, then you my friend, need to see a proctologist - to help pull your head out of your ass.

There’s quite a bit here to read, so the only other thing here I’m going to say is:

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